How to keep your parents chill while travelling solo

How to keep your parents chill while travelling solo

how to tell your parents you want to travel solo

For most parents, accepting that their little kiddo is going to travel the world alone can be scary. Especially if they aren’t experienced travellers themselves or -even worse!- if you are a girl. This is exactly my case and I promise you that with a few precautions you can actually spare them the panic attack. My parents’ confidence and support didn’t just arise overnight. They required years and years of baby steps in testing confidence, boundaries and trust. But in the end, we all got so successful at not-freaking-out that recently I’ve also managed to drop that I’m into long-term travelling and digital nomadism. So here are a few tips on how to tell your parents you want to travel solo.

Test your -and your family- confidence with a short trip

If you – and your family- are new to solo travelling, start with a short trip. Choose a location that makes you feel comfortable. For me, it was ten days of travelling in Norway, which is one of the safest countries in Europe, with a great hostel culture and plenty of daytime activities to do by myself or with new friends.

Research your itinerary and explain it to them

If this is your first solo trip, I’m sure you’ve spent hours trying to plan it. Make your parents part of your research. Show them your itinerary (with pictures), the activities you are planning to do and some of the accommodation you’re going to stay in. Is it a nice young hostel? Even better! Show them you’re going to spend time with fellow travellers your age and not creepy old strangers as in their worst nightmares.

Give them visuals of the places you’re going to visit

I’m moving to the Philippines” can be a scary affirmation to process for a westerner parent that have never left Europe, let alone travelled to Asia. They’re probably picturing a poverty-stricken country, where there isn’t any edible food nor hospital care. So, after explaining how going there for a while can be an extremely enriching experience, help them visualize the paradise you’re moving to. Show them pictures of lush nature, wonderful beaches or cultural sights, happy locals and tasty food. To prepare my parents for my three months stay in the Philippines, I showed them a documentary about Sanne, a Swedish girl who built an eco-friendly hostel in tiny Siargao and founded a local charity there. For my time in Bali, I showed Marco Randelovich wonderful documentaries:

Share your insurance details with them

Show them that you take your health seriously. Buy a travel health insurance and check if you need any special vaccination BEFORE they can ask about it! Showing them that you’ve already taken care of the-most-important-aspect-of your-trip (aka your health), without them having to push you to do it will make you score a big point on the adulthood scale! Their proudness may soon morph into another level of stress: “Which company is this? I never heard about it. Why can’t we just use our regular local insurance provider?” but this is a whole other story.

Stay connected while travelling

Nowadays, there are so many ways to stay in touch with your loved ones while travelling. Agree on a schedule of skype/WhatsApp calls and stick to it. If you know that you will be travelling in an area of poor signal inform them in advance. Send nice pictures and stories via WhatsApp or Instagram every now and then and always keep them updated on your itinerary. One of my family traditions to stay connected is sending postcards. I find it old-fashioned and super cute. All my postcards are still hanged on my parents’ fridge!

And what if you want to take a solo trip even if you are in a relationship? Fellow blogger Victoria explains her view on why you should still travel alone if it’s your thing.

Long term travelling: How to deal with worried parents

Long term travelling: How to deal with worried parents

How to deal with worried parents when travelling solo
One of my favourite motivational quotes is “don’t let other people’s fears scare you.” Which applies to life in general but is particularly relevant if you are a girl travelling solo. I am an only child with anxiety issues creeping down the family line. Having anxiety problems of my own, it is fundamental not to absorb other people’s fears as well. If I’d done so, I wouldn’t probably have picked up professional running, lived abroad for so long, travelled to developing countries, crossed the Australian desert on a 4wd or drove a motorbike through Asia (or actually drove a motorbike at all). Considering that those are the life experiences that defined the person that I am today, it tells a lot about taking the responsibility of your choices as an adult.

“Don’t let other people’s fears scare you”

Nonetheless, I love my parents and I hate that my lifestyle scares them sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, after the initial panic attack they tend to support my bold plans no matter what (or at least they fake it until they make it.) But their confidence and support didn’t just arise overnight. They required years and years of baby steps in testing confidence, boundaries and trust. Having learned quite a while in the process, here are my strategies to deal with worried parents and answer their most asked questions.

Be prepared to answer to the “why?” question

The “why?” question is key. Why do you want to travel solo? Why do you think this can be an important learning experience? How can this be an opportunity career or life wise? Why now? Everyone has a different set of answers, making it clear will show your parents that this is a pondered choice and not just a passing whim.

Debunk the danger argument

Travelling as a solo woman can be dangerous. This is undeniably true but, unfortunately, it applies to life in general. The “danger argument” cannot be an excuse not to do things. On the contrary, it is an encouragement to take our safety seriously: we will be the only one responsible for it! And again, isn’t it like that all the time? In my thirty-years-long experience as a lady, I learned how to be mindful of my surroundings; how to dress appropriately; how to be nice but defiant at the same time; how to determine if its ok to walk alone somewhere or not; if its safe to drink alcohol with new friends or not. But most of all, I learned to trust my guts. Bad things can happen just outside of our doormat as well as abroad: it’s always a matter calculated risk and chance.

Explain the difference between travelling solo and being alone

Remind them that sometimes it is good to do things on your own! It’s good to be free to choose what to do without compromises; to learn how to solve problems by yourself; to rely on your gut feeling; to explore at your own pace. And to meet new people. Ironically, the thing that I love the most about solo travelling is meeting new people! When outside of the comfort zone of a friends’ group or the company of a significant other, it is much easier to socialize with other people. Teaming up with other travellers and locals along the journey is a way to really get in touch with people with different cultures and views. Explain how travelling solo can be such a huge learning opportunity!

How to deal with worried parents when travelling solo

Redefine the career-housing-kids expectations

When are you going to buy a house?

You need a house, everyone needs one

What about kids? You know, you’re getting close to thirty

Well, all of this is really personal but, from my point of view, when people ask this set of questions they usually forgot to ask another first “do you want to buy a house? Do you want to have kids?” Some people don’t realize the answer can actually be “no” or “not now.” Me, I don’t want to buy a house. And not because of a millennial-peter-pan-syndrome. Because I don’t believe housing is a good investment considering my lifestyle and the particular age we live in. Moreover, I don’t usually ask people how they like to invest their savings, why should they discuss mine? And then kids. Kids will come when mommy will find a proper dad for them and will feel like responsible and willing enough to take care of them! Or maybe some of us don’t even want kids at all. Seriously, this world is far too much overpopulated to worry about millennials postponing parenthood.

Reframe political instability

Political stability may vary depending on destinations but, generally speaking, travellers won’t usually be affected by the political situation of a country. Unless you’re travelling to a war zone, which probably isn’t the case. A wise man of my family once told me two golden rules of not-messing-up in a foreign country: no whores – no drugs. Until now, sticking to them as always kept me out of trouble, even in the most unstable countries I’ve visited. Usually acting like a decent person is enough to stay out of trouble. Abroad and at home.

Address the job issue

Every long-term traveller must have a money strategy figured out before leaving. Are you going to go freelance? Have you saved enough money to keep you going for a while? Are you planning to do casual jobs abroad? Whatever your strategy is, you can be sure that your parents will investigate it thoroughly. Nowadays, the job market is extremely liquid. Work contracts are time-limited. Freelancing is on a constant rise. Every experience is different, but leaving a stable income job for a period of travel doesn’t automatically mean never-ending bankruptcy. Careers evolve and I don’t believe that one should ever be defined by its job title. These things are temporary. Life is long and there will be other jobs. And I can promise you that the skills and the resiliency that you acquire when solo travelling can be extremely spendable in the job market. Maybe we won’t ever have retirement benefits, but I’m pretty sure that 9-to-5ers won’t have them either.

13 bad-ass South East Asia backpacking tips for ladies

13 bad-ass South East Asia backpacking tips for ladies

backpacking tips for ladies

Have you ever wanted to go on a challenging trip into the wilderness or to test yourself on a long adventure to remote lands? I know that limited access to western comforts (such as a hot shower or –just saying- a room with a window) might seem scary if you never backpacked before. But with the right clues, even a long trip through dirt cheap hostels and sketchy bungalows can be comfortable.

Today I share my backpacking tips for ladies and my must-bring items for all the wannabe bad-ass female travellers out there. Some of the points might also be useful for men, but most of them are for dha cool ladies out there. If you are really clueless on what to bring on your trip, check out my South East Asia packing list.

backpacking tips for ladies

1. Always carry a toilet paper roll with you

Yes, yes. More than half of the world actually survives without using toilet paper (say what?!) In rural Asia you will never find it in public restrooms, toilet paper being a rare sight even in restaurants or stations. So better be safe than sorry and always carry one roll in your backpack. Watch out: toilet paper is actually considered a luxury item in developing countries. Only tourists use it, therefore it is pretty expensive compared to the rest of the toiletries.

2. Embrace the bum gun

If you’re new to the notion, please go google it and come back. The bum gun is basically a weird hose hanging behind the toilet seat. If used properly it can be of great help, considering the shortage of toilet paper. Sometimes you’ll also find the cheaper version of the bum gun, aka the bucket + the plastic pan. This might seem even scarier but gurl, there will be times that you will need it. But that’s also why you should always carry wet wipes as well.

3. Bring a padlock and a bike locker for trains

Almost every hostel has some sort of personal safe or drawer that you can use to store your valuables or even your full backpack. This is more than great, but the bad news is that it never comes with a padlock. That’s why you need to bring your own from home. Just don’t bring a massive one: it probably won’t fit. If you’re travelling on a night train, like in India, consider bringing a bike lock to secure your backpack to your bench.

backpacking tips for ladies

4. Give shampoo bars a try – unless you have curly long hair

I’ve tried to like shampoo bars. I actually really wanted to like them! I turned to shampoo bars because no matter how few liquids I carry, one will always spill and make a mess in my beauty case. The thing is that no matter how fancy they might be (I used to buy the Lush ones) they won’t be creamy enough for curly hairs. Leave alone if you have long hair and you’re constantly in a tropical humid climate and/or in and out the ocean surfing. Big no for me, unfortunately. BUT! If you’re one of those lucky girls with naturally silky air, go for it! A shampoo bar (Lush also sell “conditioners”) can last up to a month!

5. Mini flat iron + mini hairdryer

This is my guilty pleasure. But in my defence I can say that I’ve tried to live without those for a year and a half, while I was a long-term traveller and man, it didn’t work. I have quite messy hair and, unless I want to constantly have them up in a bun, I really need some trusted styling tools. Imetec does these beautiful tiny versions that are carry-on friendly.

6. Bring a clothesline with a few pegs

On a normal basis, I will gladly benefit from the lovely ladies that take care of your laundry for a few dollars in Asia. I personally think it’s a nice way to contribute to the local women’s small business. Thus said, your laundry will usually take at least 24h to be ready. Sometimes you just don’t have that time. Because you’re staying only one night in a place or because you honestly run out of panties completely. I’ve been there many times and that’s when a clothesline comes in handy. You can quickly wash a few t-shirts and undies and hang them on the roof of your hostel or on a balcony. Or even inside of your room in desperate situations.

backpacking tips for ladies

7. Ditch the common flip-flops and invest in a pair of Birkenstock

Constantly walking in flip flops will seriously hurt your back sooner or later. On the other hand, Birkenstock will always feel comfortable, even on mild hiking trails. My first pair followed me for a year and a half of jungle hikes, desert crossing, city walks and even nights out. The fact that they have a decent sole will actually take your feet out of the mud (or worse) in many situations.

8. Buy a local sim card if you’re staying 3+ weeks

Having an internet connection to be able to find your bearings on a map, to use online translators or to call the hostel can be vital when travelling. Especially as a solo woman. And even when it’s not vital, it so damn practical. We use google maps and our telephones for everything at home, why shouldn’t we when in a foreign country. Sim cards in Asia are usually super cheap and easy to get on side-road technology shops.

9. Bring your snorkelling mask from home

I always, always forget my mask home just to be pissed when I’m on a beautiful beach with no snorkelling rent operation in sight. If you like snorkelling it’s a must. With your own mask, you will actually be able to snorkel everywhere (for free) and not only when booking a snorkelling trip. Also, the quality of rented masks can be pretty poor, and having your own won’t take up too much space in your backpack.

backpacking tips for ladies

10. Scan your passport and ID card, then email it to yourself and print it

I always suggest to carry photocopies of your passport and important documents with you, but also to email it to yourself. The email is actually the safest option, but you might need a copy of your passport handy in places where’s there not a copy shop in sight for kilometres.

11. Travel pillow + earplugs + sleeping mask

This is the sacred trinity for sleeping in hostels or on planes/public transports. After a long day of travelling, the last thing you want is to stay awake because of someone else snoring or the complete lack of curtains. Always bring your sleeping kit with you and you will sleep like a baby.

12. Bring condoms

One of the most important backpacking tips for ladies is: Bring condoms. Condoms are not so easy to find in out-of-the-beaten-track destinations in Asia. Which -funny story- is EXACTLY where handsome backpackers end up to! That’s why you should bring your little reserve from home and restock when possible. Still in doubt? Picture this: do you really want to explain to a shy rural pharmacist that only speaks Burmese what you mean by “condom?!”

13. Try the moon cup

This is tricky. I know that moon cups are a bit scary for many women, but many others (myself included) find it revolutionary. It personally took me a while to get comfortable with it, but in the long run, taking the time to get used to it was a great choice. First of all, they are made of silicone which is way less irritating than tampons and pads. Secondly, you will never again run out of pads when in far-out locations or on Sunday mornings when every damn shop is closed. Third, it’s the most environmentally friendly choice you can made period-wise. Now. Sterilising can be tricky when travelling, as you may not be able to use a clean pot and a stove to boil your cup in. But FEAR NOT, I got you covered. Milton sterilizing pills (the ones that are used for baby’s pacifiers) can be used in a regular plastic container and will sterilize your cup in 15 minutes.

That addictive mix of hope, excitement, anticipation and fear

That addictive mix of hope, excitement, anticipation and fear

becoming digital nomad

On a frisky morning of 2009, around this time of the year, I was standing alone in a half empty airport, holding a one-way ticket to Paris. I was moving out of my hometown and of my parents’ place, on my way to my Erasmus semester. It was the first time I ever travelled alone. I was overwhelmed by a mix of hope, excitement, anticipation and fear. It was supposed to be a short Parisian get away from my otherwise fully Italian education and future, but life had different plans for me. On that frisky morning of 2009, little did I know that I’d never really come back to my parents’ hometown if not for short layovers. That I would have continued my studies in France to then relocate again and again going through 11 houses, 21 jobs and 8 Countries in a little less than ten years. But most of all, I didn’t know that I would get hooked to that one-way ticket feeling for life.

A primal crave for drastic change,
for bigger challenges,
for pressing reboot


I’ve seen the same hunger in backpackers and expats, fortune seekers and off the grid hippies, van-lifers of all ages and citizens of the world I met on the road. “There is not only one way” they said “we built our own”.

I’m not sure where this hunger comes from. My family isn’t really of the explorers’ kind. It might have stared on that very frisky morning of 2009, while I was standing at the airport alone for the first time. Or four years later, while I was crossing a much bigger airport clutching a one-way ticket for Australia in one hand and my then boyfriend’s in the other. He used to say that I’m a travel-bulimic: always craving for more until it gets too much. I know he’s right, but that’s the best way I know for growing as a human being. Moving, changing, binging on experiences, stories, faces and life in general.

becoming digital nomad

Back home though, some said that it was just a matter of struggling with commitment. Usually these people are those who can’t conceive a different lifestyle from their own. “Ok, you went traveling, but now you’re back and it is time to adjust to real life.” I never got this thing of real life. I fear that many people use “real” because they’re ashamed of using less flattering adjectives. As I see it, for someone with my education, real life usually means spending most of the day at work staring at a computer screen, to then go out and squeeze whatever is left of your life into a 2-3 hours’ window before passing out in bed. Moreover, life in big cities is expensive AF and working ten hours a day barely gets you by. But hey, you got to save some cash to buy yourself a decent car and maybe one day open a mortgage for a nice small house in the suburbs. And don’t be such a fool to believe that someone is going to pay you back when you’ll be retired, so you better start saving for that as well.

becoming digital nomad

Despite all of that freaked me out, I tried. I really, really tried. In 2015, after coming back from almost two years of work-and-travel, I pushed myself in the 9-to-7, steady income, subscription at the gym and to the phone company lifestyle. Of course the cracks were plainly visible from day one, but I tried to push through. Despite I always worked as a freelancer, I still struggled with the amount of time I spent in an office. I cried almost every given morning when crossing Milan on my way to work. Anxiety and numbness came in waves and I never really got to love (or even like for that matter) the city. But hey, you got to adjust to real life sooner or later right? Especially if you’re almost thirty! I got to the point where sometimes I stayed late in the office kinda-working just because I had nothing else to do outside that interested me. All of my friends were still working anyway. That actually scared me out for real. So I cracked. As I always knew I would.

becoming digital nomad

On 2017 new year’s eve I was sitting around a bonfire on a small island of the Philippines with a mixed bunch of people I met just days before. Each and every one of us was in their twenties going thirty and struggling with the rat race. Some of them just jumped out of it, the others were figuring out strategies. That’s when I decided that I would give myself another year to understand if the real life really wasn’t for me, to give love the chance to make up for all the rest, or to find the courage to really go freelancing outside of my comfort zone, to travel extensively alone and to face for another time that mix of hope, excitement, anticipation and fear that only a one-way ticket can give you.

becoming digital nomad

I spent the year asking myself what it would be like to do that alone, with no boyfriend on my side. This required a lot of peace-making with my infinite traveling-couple souvenirs and to find the courage to take the leap as a solo woman and becoming digital nomad. Strangely enough (or maybe not) I didn’t really meet any real life advocate anymore, instead I kept meeting free women from all over the world that did choose to jump on that train made of hope, excitement, anticipation and fear and were happy with it. Top level marketers that travelled the world and became surf teachers. Airways hostess that quit to surf full time and freelance under a palm tree. I reconnected with girlfriends of mine that have called at least half of European countries their home or explored the world on their own since they were nineteen. And then I talked to my beloved mum, my all-time role model and biggest supporter. A woman that considers even a short day trip outside of her hometown a tiring chore. She said “I’m scared off my mind, but go girl. Go and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t because you’re a woman. You want to be an explorer? So just be it.”

So let be it.

becoming digital nomad
Are you ready for India?  Most common fears and how to overcome them

Are you ready for India? Most common fears and how to overcome them

“I would love to go to India, but I think I’m not ready yet”. I heard this from many fellow travellers over the years. Some of them were quite experienced travellers as well, who may have crossed all South America on their own, but for some reason, India seems always a step up on the backpacking game and not all of us are ready to take it.

I totally respect the choice, knowing one’s limits is fundamental. I also understand that India may not be for everyone. Many people prefer relaxing places where the less people they meet the better they feel. But for those who are intrigued by the magic of this very special Country but still haven’t booked the ticket because they’re scared, well, knowing what to expect is key. A trip to India will surely include many challenges and some frustrations, it’s part of the game, but I can assure you that none of them will cloud the value of a trip to India.

Here are some of the most common fears about India and my tips on how to overcome them.

first time in India

Surviving the culture shock

On your first time in India, be prepared for a significant culture shock.

All Asia is renowned for provoking this type of reaction in western first timers, but India takes it to the next level. The usual Asian mess made of huge crowds, hectic traffic, funny smells, open sewage, questionable hygienic standards and poverty, in India is ten times bolder.

TIP: The difference with your own Country will be extreme (which is also the reason why you’re there in the first place) and the secret to cope is taking it easy. You can’t handle the street chaos anymore? Treat yourself to an accommodation that is fancier than your standard. It will be pretty cheap anyway and It will work as your detoxing secrete escape.

Adapting to different public hygiene standards

India is extremely real and human in every possible sense. You will notice that most of human activities like cooking, eating, going to the toilet, being sick can be carried out in the streets. In Varanasi, the holy city on Ganges shores, you can even witness funeral processions, open air cremations and bodies floating on the river. On top of that, you have all sorts of farm animals living –and pooping- in the streets, a consistent amount of rubbish and the odd open sewage.

TIP: Wear closed shoes or sturdy sandals like Birkenstock. Street-level flip-flops are a big no. Don’t put your backpack on the ground (or at least check the floor before you do it – this one I learned it the hard way). A light scarf can be of great use to create a barrier between you and the funniest smells.

first time in India

Witnessing social injustice and poverty

Most of the time, travelling to India feels like time travel. And in some ways it is so! Some traditions have stayed the same for thousands of years. Unfortunately, one of those is the infamous cast system, which is still thriving in India. Believing in casts and karma means that if someone is in a shitty condition it means that A- they deserved it because of what they did in their past lives and B-there’s nothing they can do to change the situation in this life. This creates a fatalist and hierarchical society, where you will sometimes witness graphic scenes of poverty, sickness, child begging or violence that will be completely overlooked by thousands of other people passing by.

TIP: Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about it (at least not in short exploring trip). Take your time to adjust to the new environment. If it takes you two days to find the courage to exit your hostel in Delhi, let it be. Then donate if you feel like it, but always avoid giving money to begging children, not to encourage the practice.

first time in India

Making your way through the crowds

Because of the huge number of inhabitants, in the streets the mantra is “every man for himself” everywhere, all the time. It’s the law of the jungle, even when trying to get a seat on the train, queuing for the toilet, buying bus tickets. You will have to fight your way through a sweaty and solid crowd many, many times.

TIP: Do not overload your days with activities. Visiting a popular site in India can be overwhelming, don’t ask yourself too much. Try not to be in a tight schedule, moving around India is already stressing enough. Leave yourself generous margins to reschedule things due to fatigue, unexpected glitches, sickness or just changes of plan.

Avoiding scams and dangers

Scams happen (and not just in India), that’s a matter of fact. Research online before you go so you can try to avoid the most obvious ones, like the one of the closed hotel (so that the tuk tuk driver can take you to his cousin’s guest house).

TIP: Be ready to hustle: bargaining is key to avoid paying double or triple the price of things. Be prepared to insist if you suffer an injustice (cancelled flights, wrong hotel).

Staying safe as a woman travelling solo

You will notice that Indians stare A LOT. Which, most of the time, is out of curiosity. Thus said, when a horde of men stares at you, maybe even pressing closer, it can be quite intimidating. If you don’t like a situation, just walk away asap (this applies to Planet Earth in general). Guys will ask to take photos with you (they probably just want to show off with family and friends). In this case you can politely decline and walk away or propose a “group photo” this will: A- saves you time, otherwise everybody else will want a picture with you and B- gives you the chance to include other women in the picture. On night trains choose the upper classes, where you will mostly share your trip with families. In stations team up with other local women, that generally are super curious and have a protective attitude toward you crazy gal who’s wandering around alone!

TIP: make sure to dress in a humble and respectful way. If you don’t want to be stared more than necessary, wear long trousers or a Sari, avoid sporting a décolleté and always take a scarf with you. This will help you stand out less in the crowds.

Delhi Belly

Well, just embrace the risk. Even if you drink and brush your teeth with bottled water, you keep your mouth shut while showering, you repeat “no-water-no-ice-please” as a mantra all day long, you eat at the best looking eateries… You might get sick. I get sick on every single trip. May it be an easy two weeks’ getaway to Bali or a three months long South East Asia experience, I will get sick. It’s a matter of fact. It happens every time and India was no exception. It was actually one of the worst (probably water) intoxication I ever gone through. But for me it’s part of the game now, I’ve been through so many embarrassing situations that Delhi Belly does not scare me anymore.

TIP: be prepared and take the traveller’s Holy Trinity with you. And by that I mean:

  1. Antidiarrheal drug of choice
  2. Broad spectrum of antibiotic (I use Ciproxin)
  3. Probiotics to restore the flora

Just to be on the safe side, I also carry antacid and antispasmodic drugs to settle my stomach and tummy.

Don’t let your fears stop you!

While you are preparing for the worse, a ton other wonderful things will happen: you will witness incredible traditions, costumes, art, architecture and food. You will be amazed by the people: their genuine curiosity towards you and the country you come from (top tip: bring a family photo to pass around while telling –or gesturing- your story to locals, you’ll be amazed by the reactions) their kindness, their understanding despite the culture and language gap. You’ll found that connecting with Indians was way easier than with every other people in Asia (the fact that many of them speak English helps for sure).

My general suggestion here is, if you can, to travel to at least one other Asian country before travelling to India. Learning how to deal with Vietnamese street frenzy, Cambodian dizzying wealth gap or Indonesian no-sewage situation may prepare you for India. But not for the cows (and their poop) in the streets. That’s just in India!

So what are you waiting for? Book that ticket for your first time in India and don’t worry if you’re travelling alone, you will meet plenty of other likeminded travellers to share the road, a laugh and adventure with. And you will have the experience of your life enjoying this mystical, chaotic, colourful and magical Country.

Want more?
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